Charlemagne Goodwriter bio photo

Charlemagne Goodwriter

Your tour guide through a wasteland of largely useless and satirical guides. Guides, coincidentally, that I wrote.



Okay, so here’s where I’m at: Everything’s up on Gumroad (and linked to from the individual item pages). Everything is also available on, so here are those links:

How to Hide Your Boners, The Collected BABU Guides: Volume One, How to Turn Into a Cat, How to Avoid Ebook Scams, How to Pretend to Have Climbed Mount Everest, and How to Whitewash Your National Spy Organization.

I’ve submitted them to KOBO and am waiting for them to process. Hopefully I’ll have time to submit them to the Nook marketplace tomorrow. When I get them up on all the sites I’ll update the individual item pages with every marketplace link.

I’m still trying to decide whether or not to bother with Smashwords. They’re such a giant pain in the ass. My workflow is built around using one source document (written in markdown) being converted to epub and then submitted to all marketplaces, but Smashwords wants a custom title page. They also prefer a Word doc file (they’ll take a epub file but they keep complaining about the xml in the ones I’m submitting, which I’ve tried generating from multiple apps now). Why they don’t step up to 2014 and take a well-formatted html file I don’t know. It would be nice if they would stop clinging to an archaic, proprietary format. At least take a markdown file, guys!

Sorry this is all coming in waves, I’m having some familial obligations to deal with, and on top of that I have no home internet to speak of, so I’m am posting these from semi-public places.

Publishing the next wave of guides should be far less half-assed, but who knows when that will be?

I’ll keep you guys updated,